Archive | September 2012

Chapter One of the Belligerent Intuitive Theoretically Convincing Harridan

How quickly life takes a left turn. It never ceases to surprise me.   Yesterday we were having light-hearted fun with friends, a shared dinner and card games, lots of silliness and making those lasting bonds that grow between friends. 

We scooted home a bit early, had a busy day planned.  Then it happened:  the sleek little Blackberry Bold that rides in my pocket (actually, it rides in my bra, but this is G-rated, so we’ll say “pocket”) flipped out as I hurriedly dressed for bed…and before I knew it, that fatal kerplunk was heard.  The Blackberry took a dive into the toilet!  I shrieked and yanked it out just as soon as I saw it, but it was too late.  Now what?

I was so thankful I’d decided on keeping the handset protection.  I dried the phone thoroughly, and placed it into a bowl of dried rice.  My daughter Jenni says that will draw all the excess moisture out of the phone.  We’ll see.  But after going through the motions of ordering a new phone from the insurance company, now I believe it protects me from ever having another phone.  I went online as they instructed and followed the steps to get a new phone asap.  Can you believe they expect me to pay $130 for another cell phone?  Can you believe it?  I paid them $8 a month for a year and a half–$143.82, to be exact—and they STILL expect me to pay another $130 for a “similar” phone to mine. (They don’t have another Blackberry Bold available, of course, so I have to settle for what they have available and pay double!!)

The data plan for T-Mobile may work great for most people, but here in northeastern Oklahoma, it works just as quickly as my 286 PC used to back in 1982.  I’ve been paying $40 every month for 2 Blackberries to have a 4-minute connection to reach the Internet, whether we need it or not.  I can turn on my laptop and get to the Internet sooner.  That’s absolutely not fair.

So.  Enter the belligerent intuitive theoretically convincing harridan.  (Okay so read the initials, that spells _itch).  I calledT-Mobile’s customer service, waded through the prompts repeating “Agent” and “customer service” over and over until I reached a kind woman whom I managed to fluster immediately.

Don’t get me wrong.  I was nice. I was polite.  I simply made my point to her calmly: 

“How can you advertise a wonderful HTC One S cell phone on the Internet to potential new customers for $49.99, and then turn around and penalize a loyal 6 year customer with an excellent record (who has owned 4 different cell phones and repeatedly renewed her 2-year agreement several times during that period) by offering her the very same model cell phone as an upgrade for three times the price?  Is that how you reward customer loyalty?”

She restated the issue several different ways, and then as I continued to restate my own position, she gave up and said she would connect me to someone who could help me.

I then spoke to this marvelous little guy with an accent who was determined to help me, and within 48 hours this little ‘harridan’ will have her brand new HTC One S in her hot little hands.  For less than $49!

You don’t have to be hateful, or yell, or use profanity.  Just keep restating your position in different words, with a smile in your voice. 

That’s Chapter one in the Belligerent…Harridan training manual.