We had enough.
For way too long, we went along to get along. Ever done that? It was so subtle we didn’t even realize we were doin’ it. This wasn’t right, and that seemed a bit odd. Should we complain? Nah, don’t make waves. You see, we’re new at being Conservators, and had no idea what was expected, or how quickly things can go wrong.
Our son was a successful student at Kings Daughters Center for Autism, and graduated with great pomp and celebration. He learned several new skills, in fact learned to communicate with others in the public…a major feat in our eyes.
At that point he became an “adult” and was moved with the help of his State advocates to a new home, I suppose you could call it a “group” home but he was the only resident for several months. He was soon joined by a young roommate, and they were both supervised by a new provider of care, growing faster than was healthy for it. For a time things were fine. Then little details began to slip here and there. Nothing major. But definitely on the increase. We were appointed Conservators…and were supposed to…what? I knew how to care for him myself; but how to direct others? We were located out of state; not sure how to proceed. That Conservator responsibility was a bit beyond us…and he nearly paid dearly for our inexperience.
Before you know it, my stepson was ill. Hospitalized. With SEPSIS. That’s not just sick. That’s neglected sick, folks. Life threatening. And the deeper we checked, the more discrepancies we found. When you find a few things that don’t fit, you can’t help but wonder how many have escaped your notice already.
So we had enough. We put into motion the steps–most of them taken by others at our request, we didn’t do all the work. Don’t get me wrong; most of this very necessary and urgent change was brought about by those who are experts in their field, and tremendously dedicated. We insisted that the great State of Tennessee help us to help our son by moving him into a safe and secure environment, and quickly. And more than one dozen people basically moved heaven and earth for us, to get this young man ready to transition into a different home, cared for by a different company of caregivers who are supremely trained, carefully screened, continually monitored. They have so many checks and balances in place it’s a bit tedious…but thank goodness it’s there, and it’s working like it’s supposed to work.
We went shopping, collected furniture and furnishings, and drove to Tennessee and installed his new belongings in his new location, and Friday morning, we joyously collected him with all his clothing and incidentals and moved him into his new home with a kind young roommate that is delighted to have him, anxious to challenge and engage him, and help to elevate his quality of life.
Today I can say that I’m at peace. I know that our son is receiving the best care that he could possibly have. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that all is perfect and nothing can go wrong. I’m simply saying that we’re striving for excellence and accountability. And I believe we’ve found both. And that’s enough.